I Didn’t Sign Up For This!!!
“I would rather get divorced than live like this.” Whoa, where did that come from? Chrissy just dropped the “D” word on me and I was shocked. Let me give you some context here. I grew up in a home where my parents were separated several times. It started when I was around ten, and they finally got divorced after I graduated high school. The emotional toll of it made me vow to never get divorced. It was not even an option for me, and here my wife is bringing it up.
How did we get here? We started off our marriage with so much promise. We were in love, and we weren’t going to do things the way our parents did. Heck, we even both worked at a church when we met and got married. Things changed, and quickly. What is it about saying “I do” that opens up all the stuffed-up emotions and hidden baggage we thought we had packed away so well?
Love it or hate it, I think we all come into marriage with the belief that it’s a journey to the castle and to the “happily ever after”. A smooth road through beautiful fields, with gentle turns up the hill to the castle gate, but that’s not how the marriage story goes.
We have found it’s more like going on a hike. Marriage has ups and downs, hills and valleys, good times and bad times. Now that sounds more like marriage. What about winding paths that are not easily walked? Ever been in a situation with your spouse and you don’t know what to do? How about we throw in a few streams that it takes teamwork to get over? Whose way works best? There could be a fight brewing over that one.
So we’ve come to the conclusion that marriage is hard. Let that sink in for a minute. Marriage is hard and it’s hard for everyone. We’ve been told that it’s supposed to be easy and perfect. The unspoken expectation is that you have to have it all together, all the time, and especially at church.
Jesus never promised that marriage would be easy, in fact, John 16:33 says, “…here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows…” So there is it in the Bible. It’s hard, it’s normal. It’s not just you. We are going to talk about how to strengthen your marriage in our next post, but for now we just want you to breathe a big sigh of relief and know it’s not just you and your spouse. Marriage is hard. It’s like a hike up long, difficult trail, that leads to a beautiful destination.